I haven't written in awhile. So much has happened. This has been a year full of agony for myself along with my family. It began with the family pet chihuahua Mia. We have had Mia for 16 years and she passed away on Dec.22,2008. On Jan.04,2009 my Father passed away and if that wasn't enough on February 10,2009 my eldest Brother Robin passed away. It has been so much for us all to handle. As you can read in my earlier posts, I began my diet just before the loss of my Father. With the recent loss of my Brother my appetite has been out of control. It's not a matter of just wanting to eat, I feel like I have not eaten in months. The Doctor gave us some papers on the things we feel when we are grieving and I am feeling just about everything on the list! I need to get a hold of my emotions and my eating and get back on with my plans.The best thing is that I do not feel guilty for eating. I think this is all part of a healing process. Life is unpredictable and though I may never know why my family and I had to have so much grief in such a short period of time, the one thing I do know is that the loved ones that have passed on would not want me to stop living. They would want me to pick myself up, dry my tears and continue on with my plans. This is what I have to do. I know it will be along time before my heart feels whole again but in the meantime I need to carry on and push forward.